Pain and Discouragement

The past four years have been a very long haul of seizures, C6 disk bulge, muscular spasms, sinus drain and coughing, neuropathy-like pain, fears about not being able to work, dental emergencies, sleep disorder/insomnia, disabling drug side-effects, a teenage daughter with severe depression, a relapsed-alcoholic husband, terribly deteriorated living conditions, and an intense job.

I am under the active care of a primary doctor, neurologist, psychiatrist, social worker/counselor, Stephen Minister, spiritual director, Reiki/BodyTalk practitioner, family counselor, and off-and-on care of a physical therapist. I've had several MRIs (with and without contrast), CT scans, ultrasounds (with and without contrast), EKGs, EEGs, video-monitored EEGs. I've lost track of the number of drug changes for seizure control, pain control, blood pressure control, and cough control. (My doctor has taken to prescribing without refills because we so seldom refill.) I have regular traction, soft tissue work, structural manipulation, exercises (with and without weights).

And that's just off the top of my head. Just the thought of it all exhausts me.

So it's no wonder that occasionally I give in to despair, sure it will never end. The wonder is I only give in occasionally.